Sometimes I get overwhelmed with feelings such as "I'm growing up too fast" and "I wish I were back in my young single days" and "I feel like an old married lady" and such things like that. I don't like feeling this way but I admit that sometimes I do and sometimes I struggle with that. Which I think, and I hope, is just part of life. I am reading To own a Dragon by Donald Miller (Author of Blue Like Jazz) and it is about his thoughts and reflections on growing up without a Father. In the book he talks about a point in his life where he was living with this family and kind of got to experience what being a dad really looks like in a normal, healthy, God loving family. This is all kind of beside the point, but it is a good book even if you did grow up with a dad, like I did. Anyway, with all the thoughts and feeling that I explained above, I came accross this is Donald Miller's book and it was just a good little somthing that made me think and made me feel happy about the path I am on.

"There were times I would have rather lived on my own, played my music as loud as I wanted, come home drunbk, whatever. But Playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks and painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at the kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child. "

This makes me realize that I really do want "real life". Honestly, I don't ever want to go and live through High School again or worry about being popular or having a boyfriend or knowing the right people. Yes, all that has a time and a place and is sometimes neccesary, but I am over it and now feel so happy and grateful that I get to live life for real.